


regrettable in every sense of the word

by TheHuskyDragon



Series: our words were lovers (but our relationship was just talk) [1]
Category: Original Work, The Dragons under the Mountain
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Amnesia, Astral Projection, Awkward Romance, Character Study, Coma, Depression, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, Kinda, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Violence, Multi, Nightmares, Obsessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Body Experiences, Phantom pain, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Unrequited Love, give me tiiiiime, ive never written something this long, mentioned speech impediment, this isnt even on earth so it can be as unrealistic as i want, very bad medical explinations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHuskyDragon/pseuds/TheHuskyDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HD forgets everything. Nadyne doesn't take it well, but Gordon takes this opportunity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue (Hospice)

**Author's Note:**

> highly based off The Antler's Hospice album but not counting it as a songfic quite yet
> 
> I also changed some names since the last time I wrote: Chi exchanged for Jo but I think i'd change Nadyne beforehand...
> 
> I also write very little so dont expect the most especially with a ten chapter story
> 
> may contain slight TDUTM spoilers

When I came to, all I saw was _white_.

 

Not like you'd just hit your head hard enough, more like you were looking into a flashlight.

 

I blinked multiple times, groaning and reaching my right arm up, my left didn't respond.

 

Then there was a gasp and a shuffle of footsteps as a blurry Inipi ran to my side. Then another one right next to the first. They communicated with each other in their own language as they re-arranged everything necessary.

 

After an overwhelming moment, the second one (that was now a lime color) ran off. I stared wide eyed as the first (purple) one ran to the far side of the room just to continue to modify things.

 

I...couldn't really hear much other than my heart beat for a while. I could scarcely hear the equipment closest to me. The air was stagnant but not too unpleasant. I was confused, for a lack of better word, supposing that I was in a hospital of some sort. It was a fairy large room with the bed in the corner next to a window. The sun was just poking out from the horizon. When you enter, the bed and most of the equipment was on the left side of the room. Nearly everything was a blinding white, amplified by the overhead lights.

 

Then a squirrel came in the room, or at least something that closely resembled one. She was wearing a white hospital uniform with a red under shirt. Her hair was a gray- purple, pulled back in a pony-tail. She had a lithe body with a hairless tail. It was odd because she didn't really _look_ like any rat or mouse...

 

“Do you know your name?” was the first thing she said.

 

I ran through my brain, looking for _any_ name really. Nothing.

 

But at the same time there was _something_ right off the tips of my forked tongue. “No,” came a hoarse response, “nothing.”

 

She heaved a light sigh, “I feared that. My name is Nadyne, and ever since you were born, we've been together.” She walked to a table a yard away and picked up a mirror. My eyes widened at what I saw.

 

I was scarred horrible across my left eye. A stitched wound lay above my right eye, aching slightly at the sudden movement. There were plenty of smaller, almost unnoticeable, scars that littered my face. In my daze of awe and _shock_ my fur paled to a murky blue.

 

 _Wait_ , I thought, _that's not natural._

 

“Before this all happened, you were capable of many things. Including shape and color shifting. You were _amazing_. You were the alpha of this mountain range, well, you still are. Does any of this ring a bell?”

 

I shook my head, adverting my gaze. “What... did happen to me?”

 

“You were on Earth. You got ran over by a car. You survived with mainly minimal injuries. All but a few: Your forehead, and your left arm. It was too damaged below the elbow.”

 

My gaze dropped down and I screamed.


	2. Kettering (Bedside Manner)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not going so well for Jo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so out of practice w writing im sorry
> 
> anyway, I'm tossing Artificial Emotions to the side for now bc I really like how this is turning out
> 
> also, I ment for this to go 500 words or below, but it just kept going (ノ´ロ`)ノ

I hadn’t talked much after what happened when I woke up first. I only talked when it was completely necessary to do so. And even then, I spoke a maximum of  _maybe_  ten words. I wondered if the 'real me' was too different. I had absolutely no remembrance of her.

The characters in this mountain range count her as a hero. I didn't  _need_ to ask what she did or was like because I could just hear the anonymous conversations out in the hallway. 

"Did you hear what happened to the alpha?" One would say.

"Yeah, I'm surprised she even took that much damage! Then again humans are pretty goddamn  _terrifying_. No  _wonder_  they're destroying themselves." _what are humans?_  was what went through my mind.

There were plenty more like that. Whether it was how people think I lost my arm, or how I almost went  _half blind as a zombie_. She was astonishing, to say the least!

Then about a month after I awoke, a tall Husky Dragon came in. And by tall, I mean  _tall_.

She had to be 7' _something_ , because she was like a damn giant! She was a Siberian Husky Dragon, that was easy to tell. Her brown hair covered her left eye. She had a large variety of scars and scratches, especially on her throat. She reeked of beer and blood most of the time, let alone cigarette smoke . The bottom membrane of her wings had layers of contour wings. While the top had a small amount of down feathers where the arm connected with the membrane. Her hair was messy and tied up in the back. She was one of the more _grumpy_ characters here. She didn't wear a special assortment of clothes.

But when she looked at me, that's what made her seem odd.

She'd have this face of guilt. But her eyes just seemed ... hopeless or lost or  _something_. 

It was like she didn't have the courage to come in the room. Was it me? Did something happen to her here?

One of the mornings I actually woke up to. (I happen to often fall asleep and for too long. Yet despite that, the doctors say it's ok.) She was talking- talking about  _me_.

"What the hell do you  _mean_  she can't remember  _shit_? She only hit her head!"

"W-well, the thing is that is not all. She lost her arm coupled w-"

"She lost her  _arm_!? And why on  _Ealb_  would I be aware of any of this!" She sounded  _livid_. "Where is Finn? Is he aware of any of this? Where is she now? No-  _don't answer,_ I don't  _care_." There was a strained, silent moment between them.

Then she heaved out a sigh. It almost sounded like a sob.

There was this feeling I got then. As if I could experience what she felt. Even though it was in me, it was hard to describe. It was like my heart was heavy and beating too hard. But also that some unpleasant feeling rose up my throat none the less.

"It actually is tremendous she surv- ah, came back with only those injuries.” It was quite hard to hear who she was talking to. "C' mon, now, I'm trying to uplift you, hun."

Her response was flat, emotionless."Well it's not working."

There were teeny foot stomps, then a sniff of the air. "You should _really_ stop drinking. _And_ smoking. It is going to go against you one of these days. Not only does the _foul_  stench stick to you but-"

"I still don't  _care_. Don't you ever shut up? Or is your  _revolting_  species even lack the  _audacity_  to even do that?"

"You know- and I  _know_  you know that we are just as important to bees on Earth! If we went even  _endangered_  you wouldn't have those cigarettes right now! Hey! Don't leave while I am ta-"

Then there was a snarl, one you would _not_  think of any anthro or furry could make. The (predicted) Inipi yelped before _another_ growl, this time from her, rose up. "I'm getting tired of your _bullshit!_ A, don't just  _walk away_ from me. B, you need to calm  _down_."

"But J-"

"And I  _realize_ The Alpha is like that, now. What are the chances she won't get her head back?"

"Very low," now she sounded sorrowful, with no other emotion to hide it, "you said so yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a thing for cliff hangers ok


	3. Sylvia (Sliding curtains, shining children's heads.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It sucks having being stuck in a hospital bed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, I'm so sorry this took so long.  
> Long story short, my idiocy got the best of me x.x

The Husky Dragon talked a lot more near my room after that day. Whether it was on purpose or not, I’ll never know. But any other activity remained normal for the most part.

I got more insight on how she was, but it all seemed so unusual.

But when she did come in, it wasn’t good.

She was drunk. And I was actually surprised when I saw her walk and talk with any finesse. She roughly pushed a brown Griffin to the side in her wake. Despite the fluidity of the patients and doctors, she was still able to stumble in unnoticed. But now with her so close, she wasn’t too drunk. Just enough for the slightest blush to show beneath scars and fur. She leaned against the doorway, glaring at me as if I was a familiar stranger.

She scowled then, a dark contrast to the white silence.

My voice was terribly hoarse, so when I responded, “What?” I immediately cleared my throat.

“Look,  _dipshit_ , I don’t know why you’re like this, and I don’t much care either way. All I care about is getting my goddamn sister back.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do about that,”

“I want you to get her back!” She growled.

I felt offended at that for some reason. “I can’t do that.”

“Well, have ya’ tried!?”

I wanted to say something sarcastic. But I didn’t in the end, “Of course I have! Why wouldn’t I?” There was some part of me that knew she was unreasonable but-

"Well then why isn't she back!?"

There was a sudden, loud crash (and more odd noises) somewhere down the hallway. And nearly everybody- from Inipi to Dragons- ran to aid what ever happened.

Including the Husky Dragon that was just talking to me.

\--

 

Hours later, when the sun was falling, an Inipi came to check up on me. It was very routinely, bringing food and medicine each time. Every day, same hour, it got quite repetitive and boring.

I kept thinking about that noise. Why did everyone just ignore it afterwards? What if I just imagined it. The meeting with what’s-her-name—Imagined. Every character that ran after—imagined. The following commotion—imagined just the same. Hell, probably even the metallic smell that followed was imagined. I eventually willed the thoughts away.

I cleared my throat before speaking. “W-…What happened earlier? That loud crash..?” Instantly after I said that _“What if you imagined it?”_ came back up as a thought. It stuck there firmly for what felt like an eternity until Lime responded.

“HD had a brother,” he began, “he, ah, didn’t take what happened to her the best…” He fiddled with a pen. Lime looked like a pup caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. “His name is Finn. You Icetails usually take out anger through violence more than anything. So… he decided to take it out on.. somebody she wasn’t always friends with.” He looked even sadder now.

“Who was it?” I dared to ask.

“His name was Gordon. He wasn’t on the best terms with HD’s rider.”

“Can I see him? Finn?”

“We tried to get him in earlier. He completely refused what so ever.”

\--

I have gathered that the Inipi are based on color. And that most their names are based off that too. Despite Mist being purple-ish, she doesn’t have Violet as a name. But Lime didn’t have anything fancy. But there were just _so many_ of them. It was quite ridiculous. There was a large diversity in this mountain range, too. From dragons to cats or demons to _house pets_.

I had also been taught that if you have a collar, you were owned by some non-winged animal. And as far as I know, the color of the collar is the same as the owners’ eye color.

I overheard that HD had some disorders. Including (and not limited to) dyslexia, anxiety, and borderline… something. I could see how from the way she acted.

\--

A brown, floppy-eared dog came in one day. He had wing to accompany him, too, they were black brown and white. Unlike some of the characters in the mountain range, he wore cloths--well, just pants really. He had a series of scratched and bite marks on him. There was _something_ that was a mixture inside of me. It was like I both hated him and _loved_ him at the same time.

“Hey,” Gordon said, sitting on the bedside chair, “I just wanted to visit.”


	4. Atrophy (or, Rings Ill-Fitting)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could we just start over again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has been halfway up my ass AND I've been working slightly on my actually story im s o r r y this took so long

“Why are you acting like that?” Gordon asked one day, quite suddenly, really. I turned to him with a tilt to my head.

“Act like what?” I asked, with a rasp to my voice. I hadn’t been talking as much as _She_ did, but I was making progress (at least that’s what the doctors say; my memory is still pretty bad).

“You’re so… bossy. HD wasn’t really ever like that.” There was this hesitance in his voice and mind like he’d immediately regretted saying it. His wings twitched. “It’s odd.”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s just different, is all.”

 

I hadn’t told anyone else but him about my mind reading. I didn’t really _trust_ anyone enough. Gordon had said that that was normal. Telling me everything that HD did compared to what I do helped. He’s also tells me if I had repeated it:

“What day is it? How long have I been here?”

“It’s October 3rd, you’ve been in here for a few months now. I have already told you that.”

I was slightly dumbfounded. “H-How many times?”

“Three”

I groaned, turning my head away. This wasn’t the first time that that’s happened, I couldn’t tell you how many exactly, for obvious reasons.

 

The next day, I saw deep, uncovered cuts that took up his whole arm. I was surprised, to say the least. What was wrong with him? Did he get in a fight?

“What’s that for?” I asked urgently, sitting up from my bed. He sat on the chair as always.

With a smile he answered, “Coping mechanism.”

What did that mean? That couldn’t _possibly_ be something. It didn’t seem logical. Gordon picked at them constantly. “HD and I would, uhm… well, she’s literally tear me apart.”

“What?”

“She’d bite me, scratch me, and even burn me with acid.”

“Why?”

“I liked it,”

“That’s called Stockholm Syndrome.”

He barked out a laugh at that, “Perhaps it is…” resting a hand with bloody clawtips on my own hand. We talked more until he had to leave.

 

“Anterograde Amnesia, It’s what happens when the brain suffers damage. Usually, it is extremely difficult to make memories afterward. It _is_ possible for you to recover. From what happened to you, and what _has_ happened, we are surprised that this happened.” It was Mist again, She visited me more often than not. “You are showing signs of progress, though! We do not know why your arm keeps getting infected though. We’ve tried everything we can, but at this rate, you’ll never even get to try your prosthetic.”

I was on the edge of the bed, finally. They let me get up and walk around every now and then. It was difficult with my missed limb, but I was extremely lucky that I didn’t get any other broken bones. I took a drink of the water in my hand and listened to her talk more.

 

“Didn’t HD have a Rider?” Gordon had explained Owned Dragons and Riders to me one day. There seemed to be a lot to it.

“Yes, Nadyne, actually. I had already told you that.”

“What is she like? She never visits.”

“To me, she was a bitch.”  He’s already said (Or did I read it from his mind?) that they weren’t very compatible with each other. “But she treated you like a Goddess. She’s been with you ever since you were born. She’s three years older than you.”

“How old am I?”

“Thirteen, I’m not sure why she doesn’t visit. You two were a couple.” _Were…_

“Does… Does Finn have anyone?”

“Yes, Tiberius, the mutated wolf,” I had seen him around, his golden eyes sparkling with delight even ever he saw Finn. He checked his phone, “Ah, I have to go.”

 

I was only half asleep, maybe sleep paralysis, because I couldn’t move a single muscle in my body.

Gordon came in then, as quietly as he could, and crawled onto the bed. It was awkward and clumsy. His face was flushed.

He then leaned down and kissed me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Gordon what are you doing


	5. Bear (Children become their Parents become their Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't things just improve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man! After.. *checks non-existent watch* a long time I got his done! We're gonna follow me own pneumonia for another chapter or so haha

“How old are you?” was one of the questions I asked Gordon.

He hesitated for a long moment, “Er- I _think_ I’m twenty…three…? I’ve never really thought about it-”

I sneezed suddenly, cutting him off. He looked at me with wide eyes, before bursting into laughter.

“What?”

“That was really cute!” He fell into a coughing fit himself, still partially laughing. My throat ached too much to scowl.

“I think I’m getting sick,” I said once he composed himself, “my throats been hurting like hell.”

“I’ll tell the doctors, has anyone else come in lately?” he placed his hand over my only remanding hand.

“No one unusual,” Nadyne had visited me earlier in the week, but refrained to look at me. I could really see how HD fell for her, even if they met at birth. The way her eyes and hair changed on her emotions was charming to say the least. Her personality was nice, too, always had something to say. Did she really hate me? Was I going to be like this forever? …Was it my fault that I went to Earth in the first place?

“Your arm has caused you some discomfort hasn’t it?” Right, my left arm. I had, unfortunately found out what phantom pain is, the hard way. It wasn’t as bad as it probably could’ve been, though. The wound from the amputation has barely healed. “It’s because of the Earth,” the doctors said, but weren’t we far more superior?

“Yeah, but that has nothing to do with a sore throat.” Then again I wasn’t a doctor….

Perhaps I should _miss_ my arm, but I haven’t really _felt_ anything recently, like an out of body experience. I don’t really have any use for my both my arms from being stuck in this bed. I hadn’t really even seen anything out of the room except the sky when the windows where open.

\--

Whatever sickness I had caught got worse, to where I would just cough, and cough and _cough._ At times I would cough something up, but it’d be so minute, I couldn’t spit it out.

Whatever kept Gordon determined to stay with me (or what let the _doctors_ let him stay) was beyond me at the time. He would get me various things to keep me distracted. Sleep didn’t come easily with the coughing, not that I expected it to, though. Reading would be the main thing I did last week.

It was …odd how composing, if that was the right word, reading could get. The current book series had just less than 300 pages each book and I easily got through two within the week. Now that I think about it, it doesn’t sound _that_ impressive.

One time, when I did fall asleep, I unfortunately only slept for a few hours.

I woke up at some intermediate point, sitting up out of habit and throwing up.

\--

“It’s not like I threw up _blood_ , don’t _worry-“_

“But you still puked!” A pen was pointed at me by the Inipi.

“From coughing! Did ya expect me to _not_ cough so hard?”

“You said you were coughing things up? We need to take X-rays of your chest-“

“You’re dodging the question.” I sat up on the bed, ready to go where ever I was instructed. I have been in a few other rooms, but still in the hospital none the less.

She turned to me, “ _You_ are my patient.”

\--

Unceremoniously, Lime came in with a folder of papers after a knock on the door. “After examining the x-rays, it seems that you have pneumonia.”

Perhaps I should’ve cared more, maybe my immortally masked that, but I just shrugged it off.

“So I got water in my lungs,” I said after a moment, “So what,”

I ended up regretting saying that, because he responded, in boring detail all the medicine I’d have to take.


	6. Thirteen (Or Sylvia speaks)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phantom pain is no phantom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .................................. I have no excuse for why this took so long. Sorry.

I was walking down a road. The sky was at various stages depending where you looked. At one point, It was beautiful dawn purples and pinks. The next it was a cloudy starless sky. I had four legs.

  
The road was smooth and new, spare rocks from the hill on the side scattered in. I just kept on walking. I didn't stop and I didn't intend to. In my mind's haze, it took me awhile to notice that there were glowing things some ways away. Upon closer inspection, (I could've sworn that my eyes zoomed in) it seemed that it was four horns and a pair of eyes. One of the frontal horns as broken in half, and it was leaking an obscene amount onto his face and the ground. The owner of the quadruplet set was a handsome large Husky Dragon, the same as me maybe. His head was sunken to the floor but he was still glaring at me. His wings had been tilted down like his head. He looked entirely pissed.  


  
He  suddenly darted forward and it was obvious that his target was me. I whizzed my body around as fast as I could, Only to  be met with a Earth-car's headlights.   


  
The road  was walled in by now by a mile of snow, the sun blinding against it. The vicious Husky Dragon had omnipotent speed and was heading towards me, we would collide in no time.. He angled his head down for the impact and-   


And then there were urgent mutterings muffled by that haze behind my mind:

  
" _D-_ _ Doctor! _ " It was Gordon by the sound of it- he sounded awfully worried.   


  
For the spit second of darkness, my body erupted into blistering, aching,  burning pain. The gasp I let out turned to a groan as my eyes flickered to Dr. Nadyne, and then Dr. Mist tugging on Gordon's apparel.   


  
"Sir-  _Please_ -"  she struggled to pull him back, "You are being very re-recalcitrant-  _Move out of the room_!" and with one final tug and push, he evicted out of my hospital room.   


"She's in stable conditions, Doctor Mist?"

"Right here Miss,"

"Alright, thank you. Hook her up the the oxygen suppressors and get her- Jo, on a scale of one to ten-" (they ask me this very often, by the way.) "How much pain are you in?" A very warm, damp cloth covered my amputated arm. My phantom arm lurched.

  
"T-t-  _ten!!_ " god, it hurt to move my upper body to say that. Everything hurt wand was going  so fast -   


  
Something popped into my mouth and  instantly started dissolving against my tongue. I looked up at Nadyne with blurry eyes. Her hair and eyes shifted with color as she fought with her emotions. " _Please!_ " I insisted with a hard tug on her sleeve.   


  
"We are doing everything we can." Something, a needle  maybe , pinched into my arm.  Possibly it was that,  perhaps not, but I soon saw darkness overcome my eyes.   


I passed out.

"She's awake, it seems Dr. Nadyne. I will leave you two."

  
"Thank you," she said  quietly .   


I opened my eyes to see her stroll over to me.

"What is your name, the date, and how old are you?"

"My name is Jo Icetail, I'm thirteen, and the date is, uhh..."

"That is fine." She jotted something down on her clipboard. "how are you feeling?"

I didn't look at my arm. "Fine, I suppose."

""You suppose","

  
And  just like that, she left.   



	7. Two (or I Would Have Saved Her if I Could.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HD gets pneumonia and a nightmare.

My health eventually down spiraled.

Somehow, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. It started with my lungs (obviously), with this weird, uncomfortable spider web feeling. "It feels like my lungs are an abandoned attic," I said to Mist one day.

She was on daily checkup this week. It ranged from Mist, Lime, and Nadyne but she rarely showed up. I had been in the hospital for months now, the white room seemed to be the only thing I know. If I was lucky, they would take me to the scan room, but other than that, I was anchored here. She scribbled down on the paper she had for what seemed like forever. "Any coughing or fevers? Any difficulty breathing?"

"I only cough when it feels like that. I feel fine otherwise." _Aren't you the doctor? Shouldn't you know this?_ I cleared my throat and sniffled.

Strangely enough, Gordon hasn't come around today, or for the past week now that I think of it. I've been asleep for most of the time, but I never had the energy to make up for it. And judging by the clock on the other side of the room (I had always needed glasses), it was in the afternoon, about 2:25 maybe. Did he leave me? Was he busy? Did he suddenly hate me?

Did he not care about me anymore?

That's ridiculous, I told myself. He's... Faithful to me! He wouldn't _leave_ me! Gordon has told me endless stories how he had been so close to HD ( I still can't believe that was me!), and how they hung out in their... own ways.

But what if he did? What if he suddenly hated me? What did I do?

Mist's voice broke my train of thought, thankfully.

"Tomorow," she started, she sounded so matter-of-factly, like she knew everything was alright, "If the symptoms remain, we will walk you over to the X-rays to look at your lungs."

"Alright," that didn't seem too bad, I thought, at least I'd be walking around. I'd never had pneumonia before, the worst thing I've had was probably the flu, and even that wasn't at it's worst.

But I'm immortal, I thought, I'll be fine.  
\--  
I was not fine. Everything was not _fine_.

That was fair to say. I had some type of pneumonia, and all I could do was sit in my hospital bed and cough (and cough and...). Not that I hadn't been doing too much of that lately, it was just making me more miserable. You'd be surprised at how bad being hospitalized is.

"Since you are in the hospital, we will classify it by 'healthcare-associated pneumonia'. We.. aren't too sure whether your amnesia will affect it more." she explained," The good thing though, is you are immortal, so it's not classified as lethal for you. Bad news, though, you will possibly feel nauseated and tired most of the time, on top of your cough and fevers." _Great_.

She flipped the pile of papers she had. "You do have a fever, which is especially high for your species. You will be given antibiotics and the temperature in this room will be lowered. We may switch rooms for bacterial reasons." Another flip. _Can't you at least sound like you want to live in this world?_

"What kind of medicine will I take?" I said before she could say anything else.

"Specifically, you will have an inhaler, possibly two if need be, for your coughing fits and fevers. And you will orally take this-" she held up an orange bottle with small white pills, "-and this-" And another one with slightly large, multicolored pills," - for now. We will see how these work. We tested the amount of oxygen in your lungs, and it's a 90%,"

"Uhh...What does that mean?"

"It means that being a problem from your pneumonia, we'll need to manually reoxygenate your blood and lungs. We'll use a machine that transfers a high amount of oxygen to your lungs, and therefore into your blood. Having low oxygen can possibly be a cause of your tiredness."

That made sense, I think.

The machine she talked about wasn't anything special. Honestly, it looked like a hand held water vaporizer machine with a tube that went into your mouth. The mouthpiece was made in a way to carefully hook behind my teeth when my maw was closed. The stuff emitted from it was a white, thin and fog like and was tasteless. Instantly, when I breathed in ("Ok now, take a deep breath,") I started coughing hoarsely.

She left me with the tube in my mouth and returned five or so minutes later to turn it back off. By that time I had gotten used to the feel, and ignore any need to cough that rose.

She put the analyzer on my pointer finger until it beeped.

"Your oxygen levels are at 97% now. You will take those small pills twice-" she pointed to them on the table,"- once in the morning, and one at night, and then that other one after your dinner each day. Whoever brings out your next meal will remind you."

And at that, I was alone again.

Sometime later, when I expected it, right at the same time every day, Lime was the one who brought my meal in. "When you finish, you need to take your medication. When I come back in to get your leftovers, I'll remind you once more."

_You don't need to baby me_ , I though, taking a piece of the juicy rabbit meat. It was the same as every day and every meal. Husky Dragons are primarily carnivores, and they usually live in colder climates, so their food choices are scarce. Bunnies are commonly a quick catch of a meal a few times a day. I was no exemption, of course, and even though I don't need to eat, I did so for the peace of things.

But I'm immortal, I concluded. So I don't need to eat, but I need to get better to get out of here.

Whether I was immortal or not, I despised the feeling if being hungry. It felt like a weak, mini black hole in the pit of my stomach eating me inside out. It also felt just so _cold_ , like all that black hole was doing was eating ice... or something.

I gnawed on the cut of rabbit meat between my molars. It did taste metallic, but the taste was amazing. Rabbit was probably one of my favorite foods, various fruits a close second, yet nothing could compare the feel of the flesh of the meat in my mouth, or the sensation of blood dripping between my teeth and maw.

_Woah_ , I thought, nearly choking on my food, _that was violent._

As weird as it sounds, I feel like the fact that I was a zombie (even though I was reluctant to believe it) was relevant. My taste for meat has grown. Not to where it's overpowering, But I seem to have a heightened craving for it. No normal dragon should have that feeling.

When I was finished I _did_ almost forget to take my medication, if Lime hadn't come in.

"Hey, doc?" I asked afterward.

"Yes, Ms. Icetail?"

"Where's Gordon? That canine that was with me for a while?"

"Well," he started, he looked nervous, "He appeared to get into a fight with one of the nurses."

"What? Who?" I sat up on my bed, aghast.

"Nurse Nadyne, your rider."

My eyes widened. "He wouldn't do that! That's not something he'd do!" I argued, he shook his head, silently walking toward me.

"I realize, Ms. Icetail, but-"

"No, I- I don't believe it- why! Why would he do that?" I asked stubbornly.

"We do not know. It may be because of the stress that has been put on top of us." I opened my mouth to speak before closing it.

I let that sink in, everyone has pretty much been freaking out, "What's happened to our alpha? What _will_ happen to our alpha? Is she alright? Who will rule in her place?"

" _Will Zal come back?_ " That wasn't something that I'd heard before.

I had no idea who Zal was, was the thing.

Whether Finn or... my sister were the alpha, they were doing fairly well in keeping the peace. Had something happened like this before?

"Is Nadyne hurt?"

I had meant to say 'Gordon' but some part of my brain instantly went to Nadyne, like a sudden flood of emotion, and just like that, she was in the back of my mind, just there, waiting for me. In response to my feelings, the heart monitor beep-beep-beeped faster. I held my breath.

I couldn't help but start violently coughing, doubling over in my bed before he could react.

The Inipi hopped over to the bedside table, grabbing one of my inhalers and handing it to me, shoving it in my face (or attempting to). I was kind of too busy to take it at the moment though.

The coughs- that seemed like an understatement- felt and sounded like they were wet, which they were. I tasted mucus and metal and-

They- the doctors- were holding me down and forced something onto my maw, keeping it mostly closed despite the persistent coughs. There was a blur of magenta and white and--

\-- _brown_. Brown with tan and black feathers. It was Gordon holding my shoulder down and looking up at Nadyne who told him what to do. He looked terribly worried.

And then there was _red!_  Across Gordon's chest and _my claws_ and then the sheets. Had I wounded him? Did I do that? Why did I do that? Why... did he look so _happy_?

And then all I saw was black.

\--

When I woke up I wasn't in the hospital. That was for sure.

Exactly where I was, I had no clue. I was in some kind of large building. maybe 20 floors up. The building itself was in terrible condition: All of the visible windows were broken, the wallpaper was   
falling off, and there was some bloody and gross... heap of feathers on the floor.

I walked over to it with a squelch beneath my paws. It was a griffin that looked absolutely terrible.

His right wing was definitely broken. He had blood all over his talons- one looked especially bad, it was tinted _green_ \- and brown feathers. Looking at his face revealed that not only did he have acidic burn wounds splattered across his face (that nearly looked like they were still sizzling) but that his upper beak was completely broken off. And then suddenly the bloody brown heap _moved_ , moved to reach a stained, bloody, shaking talon to me, _begging_ -at?

I gasped, bringing a paw up to my mouth and stepping back. I actually- I actually _had_ my _left arm_ \- but with my left arm was this overpowering smell of blood. I nearly threw up with it and the smell alone brought tears to my eye.

Except my left eye didn't leak tears, it leaked blood.

I blinked and I was outside suddenly. It looked like it was going to rain, and that an apocalypse tore through the city. I was on a cracked sidewalk with pebbles under my paws. The grass looked unnaturally healthy. Looking down I saw a puddle. My mouth was awfully dry, so taking a drink was on my mind. But when I looked down I saw _it_.

My left eye had four deep _gashes_ over it, they were bleeding profusely and it just _hurt_ _so bad_.

I couldn't see out of that eye, which was understandable, but I could tell that the water wasn't water anymore. It was a massive pool of blood.

(And I had the sneaking suspicion it was mine.)

Laying in the center was a pebble that was pink-tinted with blood. The rock was so small it could've been held in a pups paw. Between the puddle and me were three letters scrawled with the red blood: _Z-A-L_ \--

Why was that there? Why was the blood not completely red? Who- or what- is _Zal_?

\--

When I actually woke up, Gordon had _that_ expression on him- the one where he looked so worried but so happy at the same time- and he was holding something in his hand.

A red collar.

I wasn't startled awake per se, but I felt oddly warm, my neck was so _warm_ for some reason.

"HD?" he asked. His voice made my skin crawl and my tail twitch. There was this weird taste in my mouth. His pectorial was completely wrapped in red bandages. "Are you ok? How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I said simply. "Why are you allowed in here?"  _didn't you beat up one of the nurses? Or did I imagine that?_

"I'm one of the nurses now! The docs needed some help and I had a degree in doctoring, so they let me join!"

 

_What._

 

And for the rest of the week, I had the same nightmare, but I kept my mouth shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None (or just very little) of the nightmare segment will make sense since I still haven't written the acTAUL STORY YET


	8. Shiva (or, Portacaths Switched)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _(You're the doctor here. Aren't you doing it wrong though?) ___

No matter what medicine I took, or how many times Gordon came in to visit (or to "check up on me" as he'd say) nothing helped my sickness. It... just got more horrible and torturous. I wanted it to _stop_.

That infamous spider web feeling in my trachea was quite persistent. It's not even like I could cough it away! The more and more I coughed, the more my esophagus hurt. By the end of each day, my throat felt completely raw, to where it ached to even think of speaking. I eventually asked Gordon for a book.

"What book do you want?" he asked when I asked.

I shrugged, not feeling like talking. _I wish you could read my mind_ , I thought.

"I'll ask Nadyne what you'd like to read. She'd know."

There was something that bubbled up on me then. Something along the lines of _I don't want you to go near her. Ever._ It was strangely protective. Possessive.

Gordon and Nadyne's... relationship... was still unstable and rough, but they tolerated each other. For _me_.

I was surprised, really. Seeing Nadyne, my " _past wife_ ", hang near Gordon, who -remind you- still has a massive crush on me. I'd expect her to hate him with a burning passion. Maybe they thought they'd work together, I'd get better.

But I wasn't. I wasn't getting any better and I feared that I'd be stuck this way forever because of my damn amnesia. It... worked like that, didn't it?

"Ms. Icetail?" It was one of the Inipi.

I didn't recognize them. They were blue and had an impressive mane of fur on their neck. They wore a nurses outfit.

"You do not know me, but I am Rain. I will be Mist's replacement until she returns."

"When will that be?" I asked, pushing myself up into a sitting position with my one arm.

"We do not know. She is down on Earth doctoring there. Currently, we have nothing important to tell you, but I just wanted you to know the change."

I breathed out through my nose, suppressing a cough, "Okay."

With that, Rain left.

\--

The next day after an uneventful evening, Gordon came over. I felt tired.

He had new wrapping around his chest today. They looked like he put them on himself. When he checked the monitors, I could see so many wounds that looked self-inflicted on his arms for the most part. I had nothing to say or really feel about that.

"Can I ask you something?" I ended up saying.

"Uhh... Yeah, sure." _This can't end good_ , I could've sworn he said.

"Who is Zal?"

He looked absolutely surprised- scared even- for a split second. When he gathered himself, he looked... forlorn. "He was the past ruler of Oblivion. He was horrible-" he breathed in through gritted teeth. "-I was here when it happened, but I was so young. HD, when she was- when she was seven- she fought him to rule over instead of him. She won and he lost- with scars to prove.

"He has horns, bright pink ones. One of them is broken and across his nose - or what's left of it- is a deep, scarred wound. It's gross, and he looks terrifying to me. More terrifying." He let out this sort of laugh. His previously clenched hands palming at his jeans.

"How could someone live with that kind of dad?"

He looked up from the floor then, eyes wide. "Say that again."

"What?"

"Say 'dad'," He looked at me intently.

" Umm... dad- Why?"

"You said it like 'gad'. That's the way HD said it. You haven't had a lisp until now." I felt my face redden. _I wonder if Sade had one too. I'm never around her when she speaks much_ , he thought.

"Isn't Sade my sister?"

At the realization that he definitely didn't speak that out loud, and that I had read his mind, he looked baffled.

"You know her?" he seemed more surprised that I knew her more than anything. I'd forgotten he'd told me HD- _I_ could read minds.

"Yeah, she came in a month or so ago once or twice. So?"

"Did she tell you her name?"

"No...?" I said slowly. "I didn't need her to."

Before he could answer, or probably even thought of one, he darted out of the room.

I sighed. Alone again.

Turning my head, I saw there was a book on the bedside table. I picked it up and read the title: Empty Stomach.

\--

Empty Stomach was about a brown Siberian Husky Dagon who was apparently raped at around the age of 17. She decided to keep the egg that was forced inside of her.

It was somewhat lengthy too. It seemed to only have one book and no sequel, and it had around 500 pages (and the word font wasn't large either).

I got enthralled by it easily. The characters and the plot were so easy to fit into. I didn't mind "becoming" the main character.

I read until I couldn't focus and the words blended into each other, I barely put the book down before falling asleep.

When it was maybe around 8 something, Nadyne came in. I wanted to open my eyes, move, maybe thank her for the book, but I couldn't move, like, _at all_.

I could still see the same as if I was awake, but I was as still as stone. I could even move my field of vision around a bit.

She tore her gaze off of the equipment and then to me. She stepped closer to me, right beside the bed, gazing down at my comatose body. It was like I could hear and feel all the disdain in her thoughts.

No, no, that wasn't her feeling that bad.

I could actually _feel her emotions_.

At that realization, the heart monitor easily picked up. It was beating   
(worryingly) slow, and now it was almost normal. Of course, with her being a trained doctor, she noticed.

"It's not like I can even do anything. She isn't going to wake anytime soon." Her hair changed from purple to blue.

The thought was so clear, even though it was just a whisper in her mind, I knew it was in my head. I just kind of... supposed that it was my "mind reading", but... I couldn't even remember the last time I was able to use it.

I tried to signal it, to show I _knew_ \- That I really still cared about her--

But I never really _had_ like this- cared about her, that is. Where did that come from? The HD that's supposed to be me really knew her- and I... was not like that. Was I? Was I _actually_ recovering?

She exited the room with a stiff figure.

\--

Late in the night, with a fairly bad storm issuing outside, I noticed Gordon just entered the room.

Against the light from the hallway and the darkness of the room, he looked almost dangerous. The frizzy fur on him unkempt made him look intimidating. But not his drooping, ditzy wings.

I could easily smell the heavy aroma of the alcohol he'd consumed, and even see it on his face in that I'm-not-really-here kinda visual, even in the darkness. There was a wristband around his left arm, like the one I had, except it was a different color. His bandages on his chest were old and crusty.

He tore off the wristband easily (though with his drunkness, he did so clumsily,) and he actually unraveled the wraps from his chest. The wound was almost completely healed and only thin scars remained.

_(You're the doctor here. Aren't you doing it wrong though?)_

When he threw those away, he looked around the dark room for anything useful. Finding nothing, he huffed, fluffed his feathers (they looked especially ruffled tonight) and sat down.

He was fumbling with a couple things in his previously banded wrist clumsily. Like his muscles responded slower than his brain. One was something red and the other small thing glinted in the low light.

Strangely enough, only then did I realize I was in a different room. I just could... tell... like the imprint I had made in the past room was simply gone. Everything else seemed exactly the same.

Gordon's fidgeting had my mind refocused on him. He jumped up like he was in a hurry, before putting the silver thing in my fist, and the red thing on my bedside table.

And then like that, he was gone too.

\--

I had a different dream that night, thank half of anything holy. I was in an endless... aquarium/ocean place. But I could still breath (well, with additional bubbles) and walk as if I wasn't in the water. The only way I could tell I was in an aquarium was because every now and then, a fish or two would swim by and it was so clean.

I nearly dropped the thing in my fist, and when I turned it over, I realized it was a ring. I acutely remember Gordon giving it to me.

It was an old silver-copper color. It was obviously fairly old. On the inside of the silver ring " _Nadyne Squirrel_ " was engraved in her messy ( _perfect_ ) handwriting.

A fish collided with something off to the side in a cloud of sand, and when I turned to that, I realized it was a collar. It seemed completely unfazed with where it was. It was red with a light gray buckle. It was made of fabric and it looked old and ever so slightly unsaturated.

I absentmindedly touched my neck and finding nothing but flattened fur, I was suddenly overcome by a tremendous feeling.

All of my neck- my fur, esophagus, even my hand- felt like it was frozen cold far beyond recovery. Like the worst frostbite ever. In reaction, I doubled over and thrashed to try and get the feeling gone- and in response, I let out a strangled groan in an effort to channel the feeling. The torment felt like pins and needles- no, worse, and it wouldn't--

"S-s-Stop!" I just want to be left _alone_ -  
\--

I jumped up in my bed, for once, where I was greeted by a surprised Rain. I didn't really pay attention to them running out of the room.

I couldn't even remember what my dream was about, but I know that it left me in such harsh shambles that my long tail was quivering between my legs. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears and the air in and out of my raspy lungs. Breathing felt both easier and like I inhaled an entire sea.

Something collided with me then. Hard enough to shove me horribly, painfully to the side. A headache that I apparently had fanned up. My whole body ached as if I hadn't moved in days.

"Do you know-" It was my apparent twin, Finnian, I believe, "How goddamn _long_ you've been out!? I don't give a flying s-sh-shit if you don't have some- _recollection_ of me, I just-" His voice wavered and his black lip trembled. He squeezed me harder and I coughed. " _...Want to be with you again._ "

That last part he definitely didn't say out loud. But I knew it came from him.

The thing was I _did_ remember him. Kind of. I think. Enough that I didn't feel awkward hugging him back in comfort. "How long?" My throat felt like it was rubbed with sandpaper.

"Three weeks." He mumbles into my bare neck.

"Three weeks?" I parroted, astonished. I was awake (well, that might be the wrong word to use) for almost the whole time!

Wrenching my head to the side and slightly out if Finn's warm embrace, I saw that the trash bin was empty and that the collar and ring were dusty on the table. But I wanted to hug him more. For longer.

It felt so familiar. Like a memory.

I suddenly felt tired.

\--

So so tired.

That's all I thought when I wasn't absorbed into a book. In the time I was awake, I would just read. And read, and _read_.

It was a wonderful distraction. I loved it. Ghosting over the text word by word didn't give me that chance to think of anything that might... distraught me. Reading helped me get better, I wasn't sick anymore and I didn't cough. I was getting _better_!

But it didn't help me sleep.

The clock read 5:56. I was... sleepy.

\--

9:22.

I slept for three in a half hours. The last morning I only slept for four! What, did HD have insomnia too!?

_Ok, time to calm down. Don't get roused up over not sleeping._

Turning my head over, I closed my eyes until the doctors came in. I didn't fall asleep until next morning.

\--

One day the doctors just kept testing me. Nonstop they asked me questions, prodded at me, or just generally didn't leave me alone. I've never seen so many Inipi in one place. For some reason, I wished that Mist was here.

They've done this before I got sick, but with how tired I was, it seemed so much longer. Even closing my eyes felt like a blessing.

The day drawled on, and once it was starting to get dark out, I was finally released from my torture. Walking back to my room without any further aid, I entered the room.

"Oh HD," It was Gordon, he was tidying up my room. "You're back already?"

"Obviously," I said, Only then did I realize what a bad mood I was in. _I just want to be left alone._ He stuck various needles into my only remaining arm like they had been for the past months I'd been here. They _belonged_ there. I didn't have the energy to think about what I've lost. Closing my eyes in a sigh, I didn't open them again.

\--

The next morning, (or the time I was "conscious") Finn came in with someone.

He was smaller than Finn, but he still strangely looked like him, and he looked oddly young and old (-ish) at the same time. His fur was a sky blue that looked like it suffered the weather's torment. He had dark teal scales that looked more like armor and that was decorated with scars. He had spines that ran from the back of his head to his tail. His tail wasn't any canine's tail, in fact, it was more reptilian, it also had spikes. His eyes... His eyes were a beautiful golden that sparkled with every nervous glance. He had many scars which made me believe that he had survived something like I had, a zombie apocalypse (though admitting that is still ridiculous). They matched Finn's collar.

That got me thinking if Finn's collar matched the small canine's, is it related to mine matching Nadyne's? She was my rider, as various characters have noticed, was Finn's rider that small canine? They seemed pretty close too, so I wondered if they were dating. I didn't see a ring on either of their fingers.

"This is her?"

"Yes," Finn said, so sounded so so sad.

"I can see how she beat..." _Zal_ passed by on his mind though he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, I don't even know how it went down."

The blue wolf-thing tilted his head up at that. "Why was that?" _You haven't told me the whole story, but I don't want to hurt you._

"I wasn't around when it happened."

They sat down on seats Finn pulled up, only then did I notice how genuinely _sad_ he really was.

I hadn't noticed Finn's scars when he ran into me last time. The four over his left eye was brown and tan and jagged. His eye, supposedly because of the scars, was colorless except for a purple tint. His good eye's pupil dilated normally, while the other pupil barely changed. There was a healing wound that was new. It was caused by Gordon.

New anger flared up. Thinking that Gordon _dare_ even _think_ of hurting Finn-

"Finn?"

Suddenly Finn was leaning over me, shaking my shoulders lightly.

" _HD_! That was _you_ \- I heard-"

Suddenly it dawned on me, just like me, Finn could _read minds_! Hope flashed in my comatose body, Finn _knew_!

" _Yes_ ," He sobbed, "I can hear you!"

Then the smaller wolf was there, freaking out and curious, "Finn? What's happening?"

"Tiberius!" So _that's_ what his name was, "I can read her mind!"

\--

It didn't last long. Maybe I didn't have too much energy, but I just... fell unconscious, completely out of nowhere.

Finn told Nadyne everything, though she didn't completely believe him.

When I was conscious again, I was happy. And I didn't even care that Gordon wasn't here.

\--

Nadyne came in a week after that day, the red collar dangling in her hand.

She came to my bedside, reaching over my head to pull the collar under my neck and clip it shut. I didn't get to see her leave.

\--

I sat up in my darkened room, Nadyne next to me still in her doctor's outfit. With my left arm, I tried to lift her hair out of her face.

Instead, my hand went _through her._


	9. Chapter 9

I stared at my hand as if it'd give me answers to what the _fuck_ is happening.

Nadyne was completely unaffected, not a hair out of place. She remained still, breathing softly. I, meanwhile... I don't even know how I felt, how to feel about this-

of has to be a dream, it is a dream! I just haven't woken up yet and I'm not just some kind of ghost- some holoprojection made from someone's mind, from their sadness. This was not real, I told myself. It couldn't be.

I sat up fully, putting my head in my hands and... just breathing deeply, to try and calm myself to think rationally.

Lookin at myself I saw that I was just slightly transparent, slick with water at some parts. My hands and feet at ears were so numb and... cold. I was like an _ice sculptor_ of myself.

Was I really myself though? Wat I actually me anymore? How much has _me_ changed?

I decided to go and look around.

  
The hospital was actually fairly close to Nadyne's (and _old me_ 's) room. Did Nadyne really work there? I could've sworn she was just some nurse who had to take care of me.

No, I thought, she was my wife. My wife that I don't remember whatsoever.

Walking into my hospital room I saw him.

Gordon. There. by my bed and... weeping softly. The wounds on his chest had long healed -- not even a scar remaining. He was holding my hand as if it was the most precious and fragile thing to ever exist. I quietly walked over to him, even if I knew he wouldn't be able to hear me. I caught a glimpse of scars on his arms... I had barely changed. My fur was just slightly whiter and I had never looked (or felt) as relaxed as ever. Looking over the equipment I saw-

The heart monitor wasn't beating.

Just- one straight line. From one side of the screen to the other. Nonmoving. I was _dead_.

Was this it? The mighty, immortal HD dead from a car crash?

No, I thought to myself. Don't be ridiculous. Gordon had talked endlessly on how she has survived so much and suffered very little.

"Gordon," A sudden voice grieved, it was the green inipi, "Crying over her won't do you any good. Do what you have to and get out. You aren't needed anymore. You hear me!? You're fired!"

Gordon seemed entirely unaffected, other than he had stopped actually crying and now only tears ran down his face.

"Go fuck yourself." He said in a voice almost too quiet to hear.

The inipi waked _through_ me to the window with closed curtains. He tugged them open and glared at Gordon.

The winged dog stood up and walked out the door, head held down.

I only thought of following him after he had departed, so when I exited the room, he was nowhere to be seen. I heard distant mumbling.

It was Finn and Nadyne. They were sitting at a table and had clearly been discussing about me. Nadyne's face was red and blotchy with tear stains on her cheeks. Finn looked depressed but otherwise face-dry. They were too quiet for me to actually hear them but I could tell Nadyne just kept... blaming herself. Over and over again. And Finn, over and over again, would reject the idea that it was her fault.

Finn explained that if I didn't wake, or until I did, that he would take over. Take my place in anything she'd like him to. Whether it was being the alpha or... replacing me in our relationship.

Nadyne didn't immediately refuse that, which was strange to me. What about Finn and Tiberius' relationship? Would Tiberius be okay with that? Would _Finn_ be okay with that?

Would _I_ be okay with that?

They eventually left the table, Finn helping Nadyne who seemed too sad to put much care in walking. At one point, she tripped and just kneeled there, crying hard while Finn stood there, waiting for it to pass.

I continued walking on, oddly curious to see however one else was reacting.

  
Not well it seemed. Literally, everyone was either crying or just generally sad. Sade had decided to drink herself into a stupor.

  
"How long has it been? How long will it be?" there was no question to what the resident was talking about.

"Fourteen months," another replied, "And hopefully not long."

 _Fourteen months_!? I had been gone for four goddamn months? I had only been awake for a few hours!

Finn and Sade (who was sober now) had a great speech about how they would be the ones to take my place. Nadyne wasn't there.

I didn't see her until I walked through one of the doors -- the door to our room. Nothing important changed. The furniture and mirror were dusty and the lump under the sheets breathed softly. The room was altogether messy with clothes and general laziness.

The door opened but the lump didn't move, even though she was awake. Finn sighed and began to pick up the clothes and put them in a pile. He swept off the mirror with his hand and looked into his own tired, scarred eyes. He looked over to Nadyne, leaned down, and- whether or not he kissed her or just whispered something to her I could not tell. Either way, she rolled onto her back and sat up.

She was nude, so she covered herself half-heartedly. glancing at Finn as if he could fix everything and just hasn't yet. I felt the sudden urge to hug her as hard as I could, smother her with affection, anything to wipe that look off her face. My eyes began to water with the pure emotion that that look gave me.

"I miss her," Nadyne said in a quiet voice.

"I do too, Nadyne"

"Doesn't fucking look like it, y'know."

"I am aware," Finn said with a flat voice. It suddenly felt like I had felt the pure pain in his heart.

"Why did this happen to me?"

Why was she acting like _she_ was the one suffering?

**Author's Note:**

> i know its really short but didn't want to continue any further in the first chapter
> 
> Inipi are a made up species, kind of a mix of a bunny and a rat


End file.
